


Nothing to Sneeze At

by Anobaith_yw_fy_Nghymhelliad



Category: Bleach
Genre: Allergies, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death Fix, Fix-It, Gen, Sneezing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 14:36:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15366798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anobaith_yw_fy_Nghymhelliad/pseuds/Anobaith_yw_fy_Nghymhelliad
Summary: In which Ichigo has seasonal allergies that act up, and maybe a couple of things change for the better.





	Nothing to Sneeze At

There was a girl about to jump into the river. She looked sad, and the river was rushing because of all the rain. Jumping into the river now would be super dangerous, so Ichigo had to stop her before it was too late! His mom would understand, he was a protector, after all. Ichigo ran towards the river girl, dropping his mother’s hand and sprinting down the slope toward the girl. He won’t reach her in time, she’s already falling, it’s too late!

And then things twist, all of a sudden, and where the girl was there is now a monster, a great hulking beast of a thing, all chicken feet like limbs and shaggy, dirty fur, with a mask instead of a face and a hole right through his middle. There’s a thing dangling in front of the monster’s mouth, hanging like the light of the lanternfish the older kids at school tell scary stories about, except instead of a light, for a second there Ichigo almost thinks he sees the girl’s face. The beast lunges forward, red eyes glinting in glee.

Ichigo’s mom grabs his arm and twists, shoving her son behind her, protecting him with her body.

The monster looms, mask-like face twisted into a facsimile of a smile.

Ichigo sneezes.

There’s a wave of … something, in the air, a distortion of colors and lines, and then the monster flinches back. It looks a little smaller, now.

“And to think, you had this much spiritual energy all along!” It rumbles, and the sound reminds Ichigo of the feeling in his bones during an earthquake, deep and inherently threatening, as though by merely hearing such a thing he has signed his death warrant. “I’m sure you’ll make quite the delectable little snack, now won’t you? It’s lucky that no one else has gotten to you before me huh?”

The monster’s breath smells like death, like never-ending hunger, like the roadkill the vultures scavenge next to the highway, like rancid meat under the hot sun, decay in the darkest of shadows, and old, dried bones, forgotten by the passage of time. Ichigo doesn’t want to be a snack, but he doubts this thing will take no for an answer, even if he uses his manners like his mom taught him and says please.

HIs mom hunches over him even more, face terrified. That gaping maw gets closer, looming threateningly. Its every breath echoes in the silence like thunder. The rain has stopped.

Ichigo sneezes again. And again. And again.

With every sneeze, the monster shrinks further, until, around sneeze fifteen or so, it is stick-thin and only about Ichigo’s height. By sneeze twenty-three its limbs have started to turn to dust, glimmering away into nothingness from the ground up. When Ichigo finally stops sneezing-and seriously, it’s raining, why are his allergies so bad right now-there is nothing left.

HIs mother is shaking, and at first, he worries that she’s sad, which he doesn’t get because the monster is gone now-It obviously doesn’t like sneezes. Maybe it’s allergic to pollen too, and decided to leave before its allergies start acting up as well?-and everything is fine now. Then he realizes, and Masaki pulls him into a tight hug, that even though there are tears running down her face and she’s getting his shoulder wet, she is smiling, so they must be happy tears. Ichigo knows all about happy tears, because his dad cried for a day straight when Yuzu and Karin were born, so everything is fine, after all.

They just sit there for a while, his mom shaking from her happy tears and him shaking with all the terror he had been too afraid to feel while the monster had been there. They only get up when the rain starts, laughing as they run to get the umbrella his mother dropped, and his mom’s smile is so bright that Ichigo almost things that the sun is hiding behind the clouds because it would be embarrassed by how dull it is in comparison.

She gives his hand a little squeeze as if to reassure both Ichigo and herself, wiping away the drying tears on her face before leaning down and doing the same for him-and when did Ichigo stop crying? When did he even start crying in the first place?-with the clean side of her handkerchief, of course. His mom is always a stickler for cleanliness, even when they just survived a monster attack and spent the last who knows how long cry on the muddy ground.

Wait, the muddy ground! Oh no! This means that-

“I’m going to have to take a bath!” He exclaims in horror. His mother laughs at him, tugging him further under the umbrella and out of the rain.

“Yes, you will, you’re covered in mud and grass stains. And after that, Ichigo, I think your father and I have some things we’re going to need to talk to you about.”

Her son eyes her suspiciously, already planning the best way to avoid the dreaded bath for as long as possible-not because baths weren’t fun, because they were, but because running around avoiding baths was even more fun. She’s probably going to explain what that monster was because based on her reaction she knew something, but Ichigo doesn’t mind waiting to find out more. He’s had enough of monsters for a while.

**Author's Note:**

> And Ichigo grows up to be epic and only the evil people die and everything works out for the best.


End file.
